Parents - How to support a job seeking student

Advice for job seeking students, whether offline or online, is plentiful. Students themselves are not the only people impacted by a quest for employment, though. Parents of recent graduates are rarely considered, despite often sharing a comparable emotional investment in the process. 

Supporting graduates as a parent has always been a challenging balancing act. This is magnified by the global pandemic that has altered the job seeking landscape. I often speak to parents of students as part of my coaching services and would like to share some key advice based on my experience.

Avoid pressure! 

One thing that all parents should avoid is pressure! Parents are hardwired to want to save their children, often looking to take an active role in the process. While this is understandable, it can do more harm than good. 

It's a tough market out there right now. More students than ever are graduating, and many industries are taking a cautious approach to recruitment. It's hard enough for students, and confidence is likely to be fragile. Additional pressure on the home front will hinder, not help. Avoid the temptation to micro-manage or question commitment.  

It's all in the questions!

As a coach, we ask open and insightful questions to our clients. You should learn to do the same. Asking your son or daughter how many applications they have completed, or how many hours they spent job hunting, usually gets a spikey reply. Regardless of your best intentions, it's easy to misinterpret such a query as, "why have you not done more?"

Open-ended questions will create a dialogue rather than an argument. Your son or daughter will discuss their job hunt if they want to. Usually, information will be willingly shared when there is something to report. Pushing a young person into such a conversation will invariably lead to a defensive or hostile response. 

Asking, "how many jobs have you applied for today?" will likely garner a terse, one-word response. "How was your day? Did you do anything interesting" is likelier to see results. Information about any opportunities will be volunteered, not coerced. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, and going straight for the jugular rarely gets the results that you'd like!

Become a cheerleader!

Students are very aware of the difficulties of finding a job. You may remember how demoralising the process can be if you have ever undertaken a career change. Now, imagine that you are doing so without any prior work experience and have lost the taste of independence enjoyed at university.

The confidence of your son or daughter is likely to take a daily battering. As a parent, it's your responsibility to build it back up. Create a supportive environment in which you celebrate successes – no matter how small. Job hunting from a happy place will show through in applications and interviews. It will also maintain a positive and harmonious relationship during a testing time.  

Offer to help – but don't push!

A parent can do a raft of things to support their son or daughter with their job hunt. These can range from checking applications, interview practice, or introducing people in your network for career advice. What's more, be sure to learn as much as you can about how job hunting works in 2021.

Job seeking is very different to thirty years ago. To be blunt, it is very different to how it was five years ago. Your son or daughter will grow frustrated if you give them outdated advice, so don't tell them to run to the closest newsagent and pick up the local papers to scour the vacancy postings! 

Your aim should be to create an environment where help is available when it is wanted and needed. Forcing unsolicited advice will never be a winner. By all means, offer and suggest things - but frame these insights as strictly optional, based on outside-the-box thinking. Constantly claiming, "when I was your age, I did X, Y and Z" is irrelevant. 

Use your network!

Amongst the vast array of help you can offer your son or daughter, i’ve found that the best thing you can do is to unlock your network. Students often find it helpful to gain advice and insight from a family friend, business contact, mentor, or a professional career coaching service. Your relationship can be too close to truly have an impact. Outsourcing support needs can avoid some of the angst associated with being a parent of a job seeking student.

It is a challenging situation for parents at the moment. You understandably want your son or daughter to find the job they deserve, kickstarting their adult lives. The best way you can help though, is to cheer from the sidelines and only actively get involved when asked. Remember that your son or daughter is an adult. By mollycoddling them, you are stunting their independence. While this is a unique period of human history, it's also an excellent opportunity to learn some critical life skills. It's difficult to toe the line between taking a healthy interest and pushing too hard. By taking on board some of the advice we have laid out here, you will create an environment that provides the greatest chance of your son or daughter achieving their potential.

For more advice or to see where Acorn Career Consulting could help, please visit our website: www.acorncareerconsulting.com, simply call 07951 741548 or email us at ian@acorncareerconsulting.com.